My first and strongest thought is that you should limit dancing time to two hours. Why? Because your as you stated below, your goal is to have the generations interacting together. Remember that the idea of “dancing” together is not a usual activity for parents and children these days. Three hours is fine for the kids, but too long for the parents. The kids will start running wild and the parents will start talking among themselves. Once that happens, The DJ will lose the ability to get the group to play together. (even a good DJ)

Next, if you are having more than DJ activities (for example photos) Consider time slots. Like (if you are still tied to the 2.5 or 3 hours) have the photographer work the first hour and then stop.   Why? If you truly want generations to interact together, there are key songs and key activities that work. The DJ needs to have everyone available to participate together.  There are two reasons for this.

Reason One, if half the room is in line for the photos or over in the food area, or the book sale, That half of the room has missed the the DJ doing a song/activity that was meant for them, and the DJ can’t play that song with it’s activity again- so the opportunity has been lost on half the room. It has also been lost to the DJ. DJ’s work on dancefloor momentum. The people leaving for food and photos are leaving the momentum and making it harder for the DJ to do his job.

Reason Two, Everyone will have a good time with the DJ if they have no other choice, but a full 50% of the adults are going to be nervous about it. They are much more comfortable standing in line for photos and hanging out in the food area. Allowing yourself to have fun with a DJ is a risk for many adults, especially if they are with their kids and other adults are watching. So, you need to structure the night so they have no other option. Food time is food time, photo time is photo time. The dancing time is the dancing time and there is no other. Now you could have the DJ play background music during food and photos, that works just fine.

Next, I’m sure it is too late this year, but next year you might consider one night for mothers and sons and another for fathers and daughters. I’ve worked with many groups who have tried to do them together. It is fine to do, but the end result is more of a “family fun night” (which is fine and honorable) and less of a “parent/child date night” no matter what the DJ does or what you do with the hype or what you do with the room. The biology works against “date night” when you have mother/child and father/daughter in the same room. The group dynamics become, well… business as usual instead like a date which is usually a special and unique situation.  Men with only daughters and no adult women present act completely different then men in a family situation. For one thing, they will dance to almost every single song. The whole dress up thing is affected too. Men are much more willing to dress up if it is only with their daughters. Add sons and adult females, and men need to be cool and detached in order to be comfortable with that dynamic. Lastly, there are some activities (like slow dances) that the daughters will be distracted from by their male peers who don’t want to slow dance with mom and would rather run. Take away the running male children, and daughters will dance a ton of slow dances.

Don’t get me wrong, I am an excellent DJ for family fun nights too. I love them too. I’m just pointing out that from a biological standpoint a father daughter mother son dance does not turn out to be as much a date night as it does a family fun night.  Family fun nights are still a noble intent, a gift to the community and a positive influence on families, but if you really want to see a date night, do two dances. Friday night just Mothers/Sons and Saturday night just Fathers/Daughters. I do a group for a church in Owego every year that splits them up. It is really a magical thing to see!

Just my thoughts….

Why?

People need to get comfortable first. An organized activity helps them to do that. Dancing is a social activity that happens after people have already started to have fun together.  People don’t dance first and then get comfortable later.  Being involved in activities or watching the Bride and Groom do activities should be considered as foreplay for your guests to take to the dancefloor.

A better thing to say to your MC/DJ is, “I want to do things that will help people to get up and start dancing!”

The two most common places to use them are during the Grand Introduction and during the First Dance.

In order to make one, we record the bride and groom weeks before the wedding in private. Then I edit out the pauses and the uhms. I remix it over music that they have selected. Then I play it at the reception.

Picture a typical reception Grand Introduction: The MC/DJ announces the bridal party by name only with music playing. Now that is ok if you know the people in the bridal party, but lots of guests won’t know them and have already forgotton that name just announced. But there is nothing like listening to that professionally trained MC/DJ voice right? Wrong. Your guests deserve more. Did they come to hear the DJ? No, they came to share your joy on your wedding day! They hear professional announcers all day on the radio and TV. Professional announcers are BORING!

But your untrained voice on your wedding day is like music to their ears! It brings tears to their eyes! You’ve got to understand that as the bride and the groom, you are superstars for that one day. Allow your guests to experience you! Just think of a couple of descriptive words to describe each person in your wedding party. Use your normal voice, no public speaking training necessary. Your guests want to hear the real you. They love the real you, especially on your wedding day! Believe me; If you pre-record your own bridal party introductions, every single guest will complement you for it and they won’t be doing it because they have to. They are doing it because your tiny extra bit of effort allows them to share in your wedding joy like no professional announcer on the entire earth could.

But another fantastic place to put a voice-over is during the first dance as husband and wife.

Again, how is a first dance typically done? The MC/DJ announces it. The couple dances it. Thirty seconds into the dance, guests start losing interest and the noise of conversations starts to rise. If the MC/DJ doesn’t ask for applause at the end, many guests don’t even notice it is over.

How could it happen differently? Remember how people used to get up and leave the movie theater once the finishing credits started to role? Then someone came up with the idea of putting bloopers with the credits and everybody sat with their attention rivoted to the screen right to the very last blooper.  With a voice-over during your first dance, the same thing will happen. People will sit staring, listening, laughing, and crying with you. They want to hear you! They want to hear what the voice-overs are! Share your wedding day joy with your voice! Your guests will be enthralled! Many will have tears of joy in their eyes! Spontaneous applause will break out at the end without the MC/DJ having to drag it out of them.

What is the content of the first dance voice-over? There are many possibilities. It could be key words of your wedding vows, It could be a prepared couple of sentences regarding your feelings for one another. It could be a recorded conversation with me about how you met or how you proposed, or your dreams for your future together, -that has been edited to take out my voice and fit the song. In most cases, the bride and groom choose to hear the finished product for the first time on their wedding day, during their first dance. Of course I give them a copy for their memory books.

I ended the last blog promising some solutions to the problem of bringing different generations together to have fun. I compared the easily seen difficulty of doing that at a Father Daughter Ball with the similar but harder to see difficulties at a wedding reception. Today, we’ll look at solutions.  One more important comparison before I start.

At a Father Daughter Ball, you have many fathers and many daughters. The MC/DJ’s goal should bring all of them together as family couples. Each couple is it’s own entity.  This is a difference when compared to a wedding reception. At a wedding reception, we have one bride and groom. The MC/DJ’s goal should be to bring all of the guests together around the bride and groom.  In other words, a wedding reception has a the bride and groom at it’s center and the MC/DJ works to bring all of the guests into a relationship with this one couple.

The answer is easy to say and tough to do. To say it: The more the MC/DJ is able to bring the bride and groom’s personality into the reception, the more fun everyone will have.  I don’t mean playing their favorite songs, unless the guests are told the reason it is being played, or unless it is a very pointed dedication. What I mean are purposeful activities. I’ll list some examples and then I’ll explain each one in future blogs.

Voice-overs by the bride and groom or other VIPs.
Scripted or personalized introductions of the bridal party.
Words of welcome by the Bride and Groom.
Portions of their love story shared by the MC/DJ, Best Man or Matron of Honor, or even themselves.
Newlywed game.
Words of Wisdom cards.
Instant Slide Shows.
Reception Candid photo contest.
Photo Booth with personalized output.
Uplights in the same color as the bridesmaids’ dresses.
Formal activities well thought out and delivered creatively.
Wedding couple’s monogram, wedding logo, or personal mantra displayed in light.

There are many more, but this is a work in process. I’ll explain these in future blogs and add others as we go.

Not to be repetitive, but do you notice that I did not put, “play every single song on the bride and groom’s request list?” That does not help the guests have fun. And if a song on that list is something your guests don’t like, it will help them to not have fun. Of course, I try to play as many songs on the list that I can, but that play-list is for the bride and groom.  This blog is about guests having fun. The music your DJ plays will help the guests have fun, but only if they like it.

My next blogs will describe the examples above and explain why they are important to your guests.

How is that like your wedding?  Does your wedding have a problem like that? Well, in a way, it is worse! At father-daughter dances, there are only two generations and only an average of 25 years age difference between the two. At a wedding, there is often three generations spanning from age 20 to 80.  That is an age difference of 60 years!

But more and more dj’s just play music, and more and more dads guests just put up with a mediocre evening. Is that what you want at your wedding?

The answer is to celebrate what is important, and it is NOT music. Do we get together to celebrate music? Of course not, but the way people carry on about the music played at these things, you would think so.

The two things we are celebrating at both weddings and father-daughter dances are togetherness and family!

You need to work with your MC to include plenty of structured activities that encourage dads and daughters family members, friends, and guests of all ages to play together. Once you do that, you are focusing on what is really important. Now everyone starts to have fun! More people are dancing! But even the ones who aren’t dancing are having a great time!

Answer: The guests can do it all by themselves inside, but we find that it is faster for the attendant to help them with instructions and choices. Once choices are made, then the attendant helps close the curtain to assure guest privacy. We find that speed is important to keep a line from developing. We want your guests to be having fun and not waiting in line. Forcing the guests to learn the very simple controls can add a minute or two to each sitting.
Whether they do it by themselves or with the attendant to help, the guests are alone behind the curtain.
Guests can choose color/sepia/black and white… one choice for all four poses.
There is also the ability to aim the camera higher or lower. (important with tall or short guests and while the guests can do it easily, again, we find it much quicker for the attendant to set it before they start)
Regarding the “when” to take the picture, there is only one “when” that covers all four pictures/poses. After the start button is pushed, the computer screen reminds the guest to wait for the count down and to look at the camera. Then the computer screen does the count down. It takes the picture without any further prompts, waits a second and then starts the next count down, shoots and then starts the next count down. etc.
The prompts  are very clear and easy to follow once it has started and there are no buttons to push once you’ve started.

Oprah once did a show all about weddings. At the end, she polled brides to see what was the most important part of a reception. They all agreed that it was the conversations with family and friends! Oprah asked why we spend so much money on the decorations, the music, the cake, etc. if all we want is good conversation. The answer came back that all of those things support the conversation. Whatever is fun, new, exciting, personal, unique and refreshing will help the good conversation at your reception.

The photo-booth is all of those, plus it is something your guests actively do. We all have certain friends and family members that maybe don’t talk that much, but we love to do things with them.  And how about those people that never dance? Again the photo-booth is the perfect activity to get them doing and talking together.

Still want people to dance?  The photo-booth will help them get started. It will get them out of their chairs, laughing, and having fun. Think of it as foreplay for the dancefloor.

*Always check with your hall before using confetti. Some of them charge an extra clean-up fee if confetti is used.

**If you’d like this effect at your event, I charge $20 to cover the costs of the CO2 and confetti.