We don’t want to do anything except get people dancing!

They say, ‘Give the customer what they want.’   But the customer who doesn’t want to do anything except to get people dancing is asking for two things that conflict with each other. That is because most people need the bride and groom to do something before they, themselves, feel comfortable enough to get up and dance. There are some people who will dance no matter what. But, most people need you to do something just to help them to get in the mood. Take any wedding where there is nothing going on but dinner and dance music, and you will see less dancing than if you have dinner, dance music, and numerous weddingish type of things going on!  In fact, take any party that hopes for dancing: If you have some organized activities first, they work as icebreakers that will end up with more of the guests dancing later.

Why?

People need to get comfortable first. An organized activity helps them to do that. Dancing is a social activity that happens after people have already started to have fun together.  People don’t dance first and then get comfortable later.  Being involved in activities or watching the Bride and Groom do activities should be considered as foreplay for your guests to take to the dancefloor.

A better thing to say to your MC/DJ is, “I want to do things that will help people to get up and start dancing!”

Why bride and groom voice-overs are fun.

Bride and Groom voice-overs are fun for your guests because they are so uniquely personal and totally unexpected.

The two most common places to use them are during the Grand Introduction and during the First Dance.

In order to make one, we record the bride and groom weeks before the wedding in private. Then I edit out the pauses and the uhms. I remix it over music that they have selected. Then I play it at the reception.

Picture a typical reception Grand Introduction: The MC/DJ announces the bridal party by name only with music playing. Now that is ok if you know the people in the bridal party, but lots of guests won’t know them and have already forgotton that name just announced. But there is nothing like listening to that professionally trained MC/DJ voice right? Wrong. Your guests deserve more. Did they come to hear the DJ? No, they came to share your joy on your wedding day! They hear professional announcers all day on the radio and TV. Professional announcers are BORING!

But your untrained voice on your wedding day is like music to their ears! It brings tears to their eyes! You’ve got to understand that as the bride and the groom, you are superstars for that one day. Allow your guests to experience you! Just think of a couple of descriptive words to describe each person in your wedding party. Use your normal voice, no public speaking training necessary. Your guests want to hear the real you. They love the real you, especially on your wedding day! Believe me; If you pre-record your own bridal party introductions, every single guest will complement you for it and they won’t be doing it because they have to. They are doing it because your tiny extra bit of effort allows them to share in your wedding joy like no professional announcer on the entire earth could.

But another fantastic place to put a voice-over is during the first dance as husband and wife.

Again, how is a first dance typically done? The MC/DJ announces it. The couple dances it. Thirty seconds into the dance, guests start losing interest and the noise of conversations starts to rise. If the MC/DJ doesn’t ask for applause at the end, many guests don’t even notice it is over.

How could it happen differently? Remember how people used to get up and leave the movie theater once the finishing credits started to role? Then someone came up with the idea of putting bloopers with the credits and everybody sat with their attention rivoted to the screen right to the very last blooper.  With a voice-over during your first dance, the same thing will happen. People will sit staring, listening, laughing, and crying with you. They want to hear you! They want to hear what the voice-overs are! Share your wedding day joy with your voice! Your guests will be enthralled! Many will have tears of joy in their eyes! Spontaneous applause will break out at the end without the MC/DJ having to drag it out of them.

What is the content of the first dance voice-over? There are many possibilities. It could be key words of your wedding vows, It could be a prepared couple of sentences regarding your feelings for one another. It could be a recorded conversation with me about how you met or how you proposed, or your dreams for your future together, -that has been edited to take out my voice and fit the song. In most cases, the bride and groom choose to hear the finished product for the first time on their wedding day, during their first dance. Of course I give them a copy for their memory books.

Is it possible for everyone to have fun at your wedding reception?

Can every one have fun at your wedding reception?

I ended the last blog promising some solutions to the problem of bringing different generations together to have fun. I compared the easily seen difficulty of doing that at a Father Daughter Ball with the similar but harder to see difficulties at a wedding reception. Today, we’ll look at solutions.  One more important comparison before I start.

At a Father Daughter Ball, you have many fathers and many daughters. The MC/DJ’s goal should bring all of them together as family couples. Each couple is it’s own entity.  This is a difference when compared to a wedding reception. At a wedding reception, we have one bride and groom. The MC/DJ’s goal should be to bring all of the guests together around the bride and groom.  In other words, a wedding reception has a the bride and groom at it’s center and the MC/DJ works to bring all of the guests into a relationship with this one couple.

The answer is easy to say and tough to do. To say it: The more the MC/DJ is able to bring the bride and groom’s personality into the reception, the more fun everyone will have.  I don’t mean playing their favorite songs, unless the guests are told the reason it is being played, or unless it is a very pointed dedication. What I mean are purposeful activities. I’ll list some examples and then I’ll explain each one in future blogs.

Voice-overs by the bride and groom or other VIPs.
Scripted or personalized introductions of the bridal party.
Words of welcome by the Bride and Groom.
Portions of their love story shared by the MC/DJ, Best Man or Matron of Honor, or even themselves.
Newlywed game.
Words of Wisdom cards.
Instant Slide Shows.
Reception Candid photo contest.
Photo Booth with personalized output.
Uplights in the same color as the bridesmaids’ dresses.
Formal activities well thought out and delivered creatively.
Wedding couple’s monogram, wedding logo, or personal mantra displayed in light.

There are many more, but this is a work in process. I’ll explain these in future blogs and add others as we go.

Not to be repetitive, but do you notice that I did not put, “play every single song on the bride and groom’s request list?” That does not help the guests have fun. And if a song on that list is something your guests don’t like, it will help them to not have fun. Of course, I try to play as many songs on the list that I can, but that play-list is for the bride and groom.  This blog is about guests having fun. The music your DJ plays will help the guests have fun, but only if they like it.

My next blogs will describe the examples above and explain why they are important to your guests.

How is a Father-Daughter dance like your wedding?

A Father Daughter dance has an irrefutable generation gap between the recipients. If you play the kids’ music, most dads won’t dance and if you play the dad’s music, nobody dances! It is easy to see that if the DJ is going to help the dads have a good time or help the daughters share anything with dad, she/he is going to need more than just music to do it! The DJ needs to initiate plenty of structured activities that encourage dads and daughters to play together.  But more and more dj’s just play music, and more and more dads just put up with a mediocre evening. After all, dad got a few slow dances with his daughter and he got her to thank him for allowing her to run around screaming with all her friends while he stood on the side. He didn’t know anyone so he kept to himself or simply nodded as other dads acknowledged that they all had the same problem.

How is that like your wedding?  Does your wedding have a problem like that? Well, in a way, it is worse! At father-daughter dances, there are only two generations and only an average of 25 years age difference between the two. At a wedding, there is often three generations spanning from age 20 to 80.  That is an age difference of 60 years!

But more and more dj’s just play music, and more and more dads guests just put up with a mediocre evening. Is that what you want at your wedding?

The answer is to celebrate what is important, and it is NOT music. Do we get together to celebrate music? Of course not, but the way people carry on about the music played at these things, you would think so.

The two things we are celebrating at both weddings and father-daughter dances are togetherness and family!

You need to work with your MC to include plenty of structured activities that encourage dads and daughters family members, friends, and guests of all ages to play together. Once you do that, you are focusing on what is really important. Now everyone starts to have fun! More people are dancing! But even the ones who aren’t dancing are having a great time!

Photo booth _how the controls work_

Question: Is this a traditional photo booth controlled inside by the people?  So someone sits inside and is able to select color/black and white, and when to take the photo, or is that something you/the attendent controlls for them?

Answer: The guests can do it all by themselves inside, but we find that it is faster for the attendant to help them with instructions and choices. Once choices are made, then the attendant helps close the curtain to assure guest privacy. We find that speed is important to keep a line from developing. We want your guests to be having fun and not waiting in line. Forcing the guests to learn the very simple controls can add a minute or two to each sitting.
Whether they do it by themselves or with the attendant to help, the guests are alone behind the curtain.
Guests can choose color/sepia/black and white… one choice for all four poses.
There is also the ability to aim the camera higher or lower. (important with tall or short guests and while the guests can do it easily, again, we find it much quicker for the attendant to set it before they start)
Regarding the “when” to take the picture, there is only one “when” that covers all four pictures/poses. After the start button is pushed, the computer screen reminds the guest to wait for the count down and to look at the camera. Then the computer screen does the count down. It takes the picture without any further prompts, waits a second and then starts the next count down, shoots and then starts the next count down. etc.
The prompts  are very clear and easy to follow once it has started and there are no buttons to push once you’ve started.

Why a photo-booth at your wedding?

Why a photo-booth at your wedding? One word: FUN!!!  I heard one bride say: “I don’t want to take away from the dancing. I don’t want people waiting in line for the photo-booth when they could be dancing instead.”  My response is, if they think the photo-booth is more fun than dancing, you should let them have (the more) fun! We are so used to thinking that people have to dance, that we are closing our eyes to what a wedding reception is all about.

Oprah once did a show all about weddings. At the end, she polled brides to see what was the most important part of a reception. They all agreed that it was the conversations with family and friends! Oprah asked why we spend so much money on the decorations, the music, the cake, etc. if all we want is good conversation. The answer came back that all of those things support the conversation. Whatever is fun, new, exciting, personal, unique and refreshing will help the good conversation at your reception.

The photo-booth is all of those, plus it is something your guests actively do. We all have certain friends and family members that maybe don’t talk that much, but we love to do things with them.  And how about those people that never dance? Again the photo-booth is the perfect activity to get them doing and talking together.

Still want people to dance?  The photo-booth will help them get started. It will get them out of their chairs, laughing, and having fun. Think of it as foreplay for the dancefloor.

Hand-held confetti cannon

This is a hand-held confetti cannon. Confetti is an exciting effect to enhance a grand entrance, or a grand finale. At a Bar or Bat Mitzvah, it could be a nice finish to being lifted in a chair. At a wedding, it could be used on the last note of the first slow dance to kick off the fast dancing. 

*Always check with your hall before using confetti. Some of them charge an extra clean-up fee if confetti is used.

**If you’d like this effect at your event, I charge $20 to cover the costs of the CO2 and confetti.

Uplights in Action

Uplights do all sorts of effects. This is a simple fading chase. It shows the breadth of colors available. Most people chose to use colors that match the bridesmaids dresses or flowers. Usually, the lights are very mellow or kept on one color during the cocktails and dinner, then once the open dancing begins, they change to enhance the music.

Uplights: You can see the difference with this red-hot reception trend!

No Uplighting

Uplighting

No Uplighting

Uplighting

No Uplighting

Uplighting

No Uplighting

Uplighting

No Uplighting

Uplighting

No Uplighting (low ceiling)

Uplighting (low ceiling)

No Uplighting

Uplighting

No Uplighting

Uplighting

What if the nobody is having fun?

Who do you blame when no one is having fun? Often the entertainer. The truth is that poor planning can easily be the culprit. Let’s pretend the entertainer is good and see what else might be wrong.

Possibilities:

Room too big for the number of guests? Nothing kills a party faster. Always better to err on the side of a small crowded room. Usually people feel more comfortable and less self-consicious when they are close to each other.

Bar outside of the room where you want the dancing? It takes rowdy people to really get a party going. Guess where they usually go? To the bar. Often their friends are there too, so they stay.  You have now split the party leaving the (typically) more mellow group with the DJ.

Bride and Groom ask to play music that they think is fun, but it turns out that only a small percentage of the guests like it? The answer is to give the DJ permission to play requests.

Bride and groom are too shy to take the spotlight. This point can’t be emphasized enough. Your guests are not there to see the DJ. They are there to see the newly-weds. Let them.

Bride and groom rely on music alone to create the  fun. Again, your guests are not there to see the DJ. There are tons of ways to help your guests enjoy the newly-weds.  These range from voice-overs, custom recordings, uplighting, creative ways to do the traditional events, and activities for the guests to engage in; such as bride and groom trivia, words of wisdom contest, name the baby contest,  photobooths, real-time instant slideshows, newly-wed games, etc.

What if nobody is having fun? You know what? Maybe it is partially the entertainer’s fault. But, if it is not their fault for performing badly,  maybe it is their fault for not educating the bride and groom on what it really takes to help their guests have fun.

Not everything on the list will feel comfortable for everybody. However, in this day and age, music is only one of the tools a wedding DJ/MC should have in their toolbox. A bride and groom is really missing out if they don’t allow at least a few of those other tools to be used. In future blogs, I’ll attempt to explain as many “fun-tools” as I can.